Today: November 10th 2010 (1)

Dear Carmen,

Did you honestly believe that writing four letters in one day would redeem you?  Leave it to the iniquitous to reduce the gradations and psychological intricacies of forgiveness to the realm of knee jerks and sneezes.  It’s more involved than that.  You could have written nine-hundred-and-four letters yesterday.  You could have sent me an Edible Arrangement (chocolate-covered strawberries if this ever occurs in the future) along with a barbershop quartet whose song thematically reflected your potentially genuine feelings of penitence.  You could have returned my texts.  What I’m getting at: the grandiosity of your ploy doesn’t demand a reaction of equal magnitude (at least in my case).  I forgive when I want to.  Its the innate right of the wronged.  Believe me, I appreciate the gesture, but don’t sell me short (send me chocolate-covered strawberries instead).

Truthfully, I did enjoy moments in your letters.  Obviously, I deplore LeBron James like any omnipresent, superficial abstraction developed to simplify human existence (Time and Thought can’t stand him!).  I couldn’t find time to read that David Means story.  I had too many non-boring anything-elses to do.  I can’t remember what the other two letters were about, but as I stated previously, your effort shows.

All I ask is that you uphold the Confucian Golden Rule as we discussed before we initiated this continuing conversation.  If you can’t live consonant to the Confucian Golden Rule, at least give the Judeo-Christian Golden Rule an attempt, because if you continue in this hybrid nihilist/solipsist vein I’m going to have to un-friend you in me.

Try.

Sincerely,

Reality

P.S. I’m fond of Margaret Schroeder as well.