Preview: Summer 011

“I cannot say whether I was expecting Deauville to have something special to offer – some remnant of the past, green avenues, beach promenades, or even a stylish or scanalous clientèle; whatever my notions may have been, it was immediately apparent that the once legendary resort, like everywhere else that one visits now, regardless of the country or continent, was hopelessly run down and ruined by traffic, shops and boutiques, and the insatiable urge for destruction.” -W.G. Sebald, The Emigrants


Carmen’s arrival home, combined with the beginning of the NBA Finals, and therefore the end of TNT’s playoff coverage and Charles Barkley’s halftime show, marks the official beginning of Summer 011.

Some things to look forward to: Swim Bandits; Tha Carter IV; using my Hemingway’s VIP Card; Fire Tour; basketball with Will; Pop Warner barbecues; Megans

Some things to not look forward to: Taking my shirt off

Possible locations for the “Welcome Back, Carmen!” party this weekend: Hook’s; Rigger’s

Possible group activities for summer 011: Screening of the 2006 Senior Prom DVD at the only drive-in movie theatre in NJ, located in Vineland; oragnized protest of Hook’s demanding that they begin serving food, as promised; Chili Festival; Five Year HS Reunion aboard Alaska Cruise

Nominees for “Song of Summer 011”: “Night Moves,” by Bob Seger; “Tonight’s Gonna Be a Good Night,” by The Black Eyed Peas; “Knock Knock,” by Mac Miller; “Summer of ’69,” by Bryan Adams (last year’s song); “Run the World (Girls),” by Beyonce; “I Love New York / New York, New York (Glee Cast Version),” by the Glee Cast

Drink of choice, summer 011: “The Nutty Professor,” which is mostly ice and cranberry juice and normally doesn’t contain any alcohol. Must be serve in tall, thin glass with a straw.

Most overrated nightlife destination, summer 011: Jack and Drunk’s in Seaside Heights, NJ

Most underrated: The Ukranian Church in Toms River, NJ

Huge summer 011 event no one knows about: The Women’s World Cup, being played in Germany

Anticipated best moment, summer 011: Tie between “If I only had a job I’d have a girl” and Bar A

Anticipated worst moment, summer 011: When Carmen, T, and Dan Tour leave


Will be missed, summer 011, Never Forget: Sammi, Ronnie, Vinny, Unks, Snooki, JWoww, Mike, Keith, Pauly D, Angelina?, Figs, Screwey Louie

What I wish was happening, summer 011: Tirpak’s wedding

Welcome home, Carmen. Let’s make Summer 011 a good one.