**Please note that this Recapping is a week late. I am so very sorry to the ~6 people that read these Recappings.**
To better psychologically torment himself, Pinkman has taken up playing a videogame that digitally recreates his experiences with shooting people in the face. It is as close to playing Call of Duty: Zombies with Kyle Kraig as Breaking Bad gets. Pinkman is physically and digitally shaken, forced to confront the crushing end screen metaphorical choice of QUIT or RESTART, and we don’t know what he’s going to choose, because he stares meaningfully and raises the gun and shoots and the scene cuts away and the credits roll and we are at home on couches saying, “shoot restart with your Duck Hunt gun, Pinkman, please!”
We’ll have to wait until later in the episode find out if the upcoming video game RAGE inspires Pinkman to finally off himself. For the time being, Shrek. Shrek is detailing Walter Jr.’s ride for return to the dealership. Walt isn’t about it. Shrek monologues him and he’s like fine. But he’s not fine! He’s doing mad doughnuts in a parking lot by the airport in Part’s Unknown, New Mexico. It’s very 10 Fast 10 Furious, until Walt macks his whip on a parking embankment. The Charger will never drive again, because instead of taking it to Tirpak’s Gas Cream Station/Autobody Shop Bryan Cranston blows the car up, calls a cab, heads to his lawyer’s hair’s office.
Bryan Cranston’s Lawyer’s Hair informs Bryan Cranston that blowing up that car is going to cost him 50 “G’s” and that if he’s looking for a hitman, he’s going to need to find a “third party hitman,” the Nader of hit men, as Mike & Gus know every hitman West of the Mississippi. Bryan Cranston is down about this, and goes to help Pinkman paint his opium den.
In lieu of indulging his video game induced suicide reflex, Pinkman is reinventing himself as an interior decorator. Repainting, a metaphor if there ever was one. Walt is incensed about the surfeit of metaphors and monologues Pinkman. “I’ll kill Gus if you’ll shut the fuck up.” says Pinkman.
Walt brings Shrek $7,000,000. Shrek hates the $7,000,000. Women.
At the lab, Walt cooks up his Shakespearean death toxin for Gus. He brings it to Pinkman’s remodeled meth den, which is now a house. Pinkman packs the toxic powder into one of his cigarettes. Very clever for a suicidal drug addict murderer, Walt and everyone at home thinks.
Walter Jr. and Handicapped Hank meet Gus for lunch at Church’s Chicken. If these aren’t the two handsomest, handicappiest guys I’ve ever been lucky enough to lay eyes on, Gus says, shaking hands. He is very managerial. What Gus doesn’t know, is that Hank is DEAing him, bad. The lunch is a veiled short con to secure Gus’s fingerprints on a Fanta. Hank succeeds.
Gus, Mike, and Pinkman are meeting the cartel. Mike uses the opportunity to test out his blu tooth. Can you hear me? Mike says to whomever is masochistic enough to call him. As the intern, it’s Pinkman’s job to brew the coffee. He takes out his cigarette, preps the Folger’s Instadeath Mix Walt gave him. Does he go through with it? Does he risk Mike potentially drinking the coffee? He doesn’t!
The meeting resolves nothing. Mike three-word monologues Pinkman into questioning his loyalty to Walt. Pinkman heads back to NA and monologues every anonymous junkie in turn and proves to everyone that Aaron Paul could act his way out of a subterranean bank vault. To paraphrase, “Laundry sucks ass. I killed a dog. Shut the fuck up, Colleen.” Afterwards, Pinkman takes his frustrations out by scrubbing a meth vat.
“Did you get a chance to murder Gus, by the way?” asks Walt. “Lies,” lies Jesse. “Oh no,” says us.
Then there’s a thirty minute long scene that proves the futility of Hank’s investigation followed by a ten second sub-scene that proves Hank’s DEAing prowess. Got us, Breaking Bad. Got Gus, Hank. Gotten.