Recapping: Boardwalk Empire Sea 2 Epi 4

Jimmy Irish walks around his booze warehouse, very pleased with himself.  Clearly he no longer blames himself for his parents’ divorce, which is due in no small part to the fact that, across the City of Atlantic, his parents are engaging in an engaging role playing session.  It is truly every child of divorce’s dream come true.  His child-raping lesbian mom bought the Slutty Aphrodite costume from Halloween headquarters and is giving The Commodore major Viagra boners when he (thank Nuck) has a stroke, and becomes an invalid!

With The Commodore out of commission, Nuck is free to refer to his adoptive bastard children as “munchkins” and hire Slater as his chauffeur.  Jimmy Irish’s lesbian wife shows Two-Face the pedestrian motel art she draws.  He’s very, “I’ll pretend to see merit in this so I can penetrate you in a moment of weakness.”  Back in The Commodore’s evil lair, The Commodore is a vegetable.  Quote The Commodore to Eli, “Cock.  Cock FUCK!”  Clearly, the stroke didn’t paralyze his eloquence modules.  Eli bitches because what does Eli ever do but bitch and pretend to be a policeman and Jimmy Irish instructs him, like everyone else that ever met Eli, to shut the fuck up and who told him to have eight kids in the first place?

Nuck is shipping his booze to Philly.  “Cheesesteaks.”-Nucky Thompson  Chaulkie holds a town hall meeting for the wives and mothers whose husbands and sons he got indirectly butchered.  They aren’t too thrilled about their dead relatives nor the catering.  Nuck throws the mayor a S&M lap dance party and, being strained financially, has to hire his Germanic manservant as the band.  Van Alden’s wife calls to tell him there’s mice in the attic.  Can’t imagine why he’s shacked up with a bipolar prostitute with the pyrotechnics his wife’s got.

Chaulkie tells Nuck he wants the “ghost-riding motherfuckers” dead.  Nuck leaves.  Two-Face poses for Jimmy’s wife’s portfolio, uses the opportunity to partake in a ten minute monologue about his inability to love after returning from the war.  “I’m fucking crying here.” -Carmen Petaccio Literally and metaphorically, he reveals himself and takes off his plastic face.  Slater builds Nuck a cartoon bomb.

Chaulkie’s daughter has her boyfriend over for dinner.  To welcome the boy to the family, Chaulkie gets black-out drunk and uses the term “field nigger.”  Through the whole scene, the kid is definitely texting Chaulkie’s daughter under the table: WHEN CAN I COM BACK 2 DINNER NEXXXT!  Mags asks Nuck for one hundred dollars for school clothes for the kids that isn’t obviously for school clothes for the kids.  Basically, she’s hoarding getaway cash for when the time comes.  Chaulkie whittles a walking stick.  A building explodes.  Someone catches on fire, and now we have two Two-Faces.

In the final scene, Jimmy’s moms recounts how The Commodore knocked her up via wine-rape.  Then, I pray, she bitch-slaps him to death, and if there is a more fitting way for The Commodore to leave our television lives forever, may that be the way.