Recapping: Boardwalk Empire Sea 2 Epi 5

Nuck has forfeited his life as a gangster to become an original prankster. During his speech to the veterans of Atlantic County, Nuck speech-pranks Jimmy into giving an impromptu speech. “YOU BEEN NUCKED!”-Nucky Thompson to Jimmy Irish, 192X. The crowd loves the prank. A one-armed man answers the timeless koan of what one hand clapping sounds like by clapping with one hand. “YOU BEEN NUCKED!”-Civil War to One-Armed Clapper, 192X.

Two-Face realizes he will never realize his dream of becoming a professional scrap-booker/face-haver.  Rightfully, he decides to spend a day in the woods, shooting himself in the face with a shotgun.  Nucky dresses like Harvey Dangerfield in Caddyshack.  A bunch of characters use horrific metaphors and analogies.

“This is one hard gill to finesse.”-Attorney General’s Warning.

“That’d be a torpedo to the Lucitania!”-Crippled Old Codger.

Jimmy Irish gets insolent with the coterie of old codgers and Crippled Old Codger canes him in the face with a cane.  Distressed, Jimmy Irish does what anyone with half a pair does when he gets distressed, he bitches out Eli.  Eli takes it, hard.

On the bike trail, Two-Face is skittering the grey area between maybe hunting and maybe shooting himself in the face.  The latter turns out to be the thrust of his expedition, until the hill people’s dog, Deus Ex Machina, steals his face.

“If I needed that mask before, I’m definitely going to need it after I shoot myself in the face with a shotgun!”-Two-Face

Eli visits Nucky.

“I’m a rat and a pussy.”-Eli

“Like that’s news to me.  Give me something I can work with bro.”-Nuck

Eli says fine, informs Nuck that The Commodore is a drooler.  Nuck’s like, thanks so much, FIGHT!

More or less, BOY FIGHTS Michael v. GOB until Mags puts a shotgun to Eli’s head and says, “Doont make me shoot ye with me goon.”  Eli complies, gets drunk, murders George.  The hill people make Two-Face see that the woods are for living, that having one person care about you is more than enough.   He and Jimmy “hug it out” HBO-style and scalp Crippled Old Codger.  Nuck gets a new lawyer.  Slater trombones Nuck’s housekeeper.  Eli buries George and his life out in the boonies.