(Please note: These diaristic recaps of the final eight episodes of AMC’s Breaking Bad are written from the point of view of Walter “Flynn” White Jr., the son of Walter and Skyler White. Given this conceit, certain liberties will be taken with Flynn’s characterization, story lines, and awareness of events. Barring the flash forwards, which won’t be included and would amount to little more than pure, stupid speculation, as many scenes as possible will be chronicled in these recaps, albeit tangentially, through the eyes of Flynn.)
Breaking Bad Season 5 Episode 11: “Confessions”
Excerpted from The Diary of Flynn White
Dear Diary,
Do you remember my one-state-over pen pal, Suzie, from elementary school? I probably mentioned her. Anyway Suzie is a waitress at a diner in Arizona now and she texted me the other day that there were three seriously shady characters in the place. Like. Seriously. Shady. Apparently one of them even looked like Matt Damon. And another of them had a Nazi sign tattooed on his neck. She said the Matt Damon one was shadily on the phone outside the whole time while the other two did who knows what shadiness in the bathroom. I just told her that you can’t judge books by their covers, even if the books look like Matt Damon. Although you can never be sure. Especially when the three shady characters hoot and holler and monkey dance to their pickup truck, laughing maniacally, like Suzie said they did. Oh well, guess they’re New Mexico’s problem now, right?! 😉
PS. Should take Suzie to see (500) Days of Summer before it’s out of theaters.
Mood: Feeling Charming
Song: “This Charming Man” by The Smiths
Dear Diary,
Horrible day. Horrible, horrible day. It started out fine with breakfast, and after Aunt Marie called asking if I could come over and fix her broken purple iMac. I said of course because Aunt Marie is the best, but when I told dad I was going he burst out of his room wearing rouge. He looked like he had got punched in the face by his brother-in-law after his brother-in-law discovered that he (dad) was a murderer meth drug lord kingpin murderer, or something. I could tell something was up. (I’m really good at sensing when things are up with my family.) And something was up. And it was bad. Turns out, dad’s cancer is back. :(. I hadn’t seen him this genuine and vulnerable in a long time and I thought I was going to cry (I DIDN’T FYI). But I couldn’t go to Aunt Marie’s then. Dad needed me. I was so worried that my family was ruined, and now I’m not so sure if everything is going to be a-okay.
Feeling: Sad
Song: “Everything Means Nothing to Me” by Elliott Smith
Dear Diary,
Horrible day. Horrible, horrible, horrible day. After dad’s news yesterday I thought things couldn’t get any worse. But things can. Because today my whole family (minus Holly (my little sister) I guess Laura next door is watching her or something) WENT TO GARDUNO’S WITHOUT ME. Can you believe it? That’s my fave Mexican restaurant in all of Albuquerque, where they make the guacamole right at the table (I’ve probably mentioned it). And the wait staff is super friendly and the decor is colorful and every time I go there I always have a great time. I guess not this time, obviously! Since I wasn’t there! Ugh! And you’d think that mom would have brought me home at least some table-side guac and chips but noooooo. Although I can’t really blame her. She probably has a lot on her mind, with dad’s new cancer lung shadow and all. But still. It’s not as if her husband is a murderer meth lord drug kingpin sociopath who recorded a fake confession implicating his innocent DEA agent brother-in-law in a vast drug and murder ring, effectively tying the brother-in-law’s hands with respect to prosecuting her husband. It’s nothing like that! Ugh!
Mood: Triste.
Song: “How Far is Heaven” by Los Lonely Boys
Dear Diary,
Things keep getting worse. I called Aunt Marie this afternoon to see if she still wanted me to fix her purple iMac, and it turns out that Aunt Marie and Uncle Hank were having a movie night without me! She kept saying, “No, Flynn, my purple iMac is purple fine,” but I could tell she was lying and I could hear the DVD on in the background. It sounded like a really good, fun thriller-type movie. From what I could make out the story is about an evil DEA agent who forces his poor chemistry teacher with cancer brother-in-law to cook meth for him to become the head of the DEA and the richest man in Albuquerque. What an insane but cool story! Aunt Marie seemed really upset, so I could tell the movie was really affecting. That is the type of movie I would love to watch (but definitely not live, like Taken starring Liam Neilson (Neeson? Neelsin?). IDK. Seems like no one wants to hang with me lately. Even Louis can never hang out now that they’ve doubled his shifts at Los Pollos Hermanos. IDK.
Mood: IDK.
Song: “Untitled” by The Cure
Dear Diary,
Starting to get really worried. Dad told me he was going out to check the latch on the soda machine at the car wash then he didn’t come back for six hours and when he did come back his car was covered in desert dust and he had this face on like he had just convinced his meth/murder protege to abandon what semblance of a life he had to change his identity and move to Alaska. Starting to get really worried. His face was really scary. The only thing that could make someone make a scarier face is if their meth/murder protege discovered through a series of subtle revelations that his meth/murder father figure had poisoned his girlfriend’s young son in a power play with the then meth/murder lord of Albuquerque, causing the meth/murder protege not to leave for Alaska but return to Albuquerque, seeking revenge on who knows what. Starting to get really worried. Maybe I’m just being crazy. Am I?
Mood: Crazy
Song: “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley
Dear Diary,
BRB I think mom left the gas on the oven on BRB.
Love Always,
Flynn
baby pictures of famous dictators 