Midway on her life’s journey, a woman finds herself in a dark wood, the right road lost. By no choice of her own, she finds herself in Juarez, a city where even heavily armed women can […]
Tag: Movies
Worst to First: M. Night Shyamalan Movies
In Split, the latest psychological thriller from writer-director M. Night Shyamalan, James McAvoy plays Kevin, “a sufferer of dissociative personality disorder” who kidnaps teenage girls and subjects them to a variety of torments, the specifics of which […]
I Rewrote and Edited That Entire Miles Teller Profile, Because Esquire Very Obviously Didn’t
Earlier this week, Esquire published a profile of the actor Miles Teller, the star of this summer’s Fantastic Four and last year’s Oscar-nominated Whiplash. Running over 2000 words, the piece reads, at best, like a botched hatchet job executed […]
The Strawberry Criterion: The End of the Tour
1. WHAT MOVIE THIS REVIEW IS ABOUT James Ponsoldt’s The End of the Tour, written by Donald Margulies, based on Although Of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself by David Lipsky, featuring Jesse Eisenberg and Jason Segel. Financed by […]
The Strawberry Criterion: Trainwreck
If it takes a kind of genius to strike gold, then consider Judd Apatow a genius. In the fifteen years since the cancellation of Freaks and Geeks, that altar before which all unduly cancelled TV shows […]
The Strawberry Criterion: Chappie
Editor’s Note: The following review of Neill Blomkamp’s Chappie was written by the fictional robotic star of Chappie, Chappie. All opinions expressed are his own. The Strawberry Criterion: Chappie Chappie good movie, no? Chappie like. Chappie seen it. […]
The Strawberry Criterion: 50 Shades of Grey
Boredom isn’t particularly titillating. If a simple imperative exists for both fucking and filmmaking, it can summarily be expressed as, “Don’t be boring.” This principle applies doubly so to making films about fucking. A great force of […]
The Strawberry Criterion: American Sniper
Editor’s Note: This review of American Sniper contains mad spoilers. Clint Eastwood’s American Sniper is a notable war film, if not for the hundreds of deaths it depicts, then for the single death it leaves out. In its dramatization […]
2014 Top Ten Lists With Zero Explanations
Top 10 Movies of 2014 1. The Grand Budapest Hotel 2. Whiplash 3. The Lego Movie 4. Obvious Child 5. Snowpiercer 6. Boyhood 7. Noah 8. Birdman 9. Edge of Tomorrow 10. Under the Skin x Top 10 TV Shows of 2014 1. Transparent, Season One […]
baby pictures of famous dictators 