I have a confession to make. For the previous week I, Carmen Petaccio, have harbored a secret from the world, from my family, my friends, those dearest to me. Greatly has the tonnage of this untold truth weighed upon me. I have weathered crises of conscience and faith, of inner storms that no one can see raging but in a lessening of my eyes’ lusters, a hint of grimace in the smile I’ve had to force, and I can bear this burden no longer. My hope is to make amends with the world I have deceived, by way of confession, to place myself at its mercy, and, upon my knees, beseech the world for mercy.
Chris McGowan’s first “From the Lectern” weekly guest post was a farce. It was, in fact, not written by Chris McGowan, but by another. I am that another. I, under the assumption that Chris would never respond to my threatening text messages/was too busy taking his aunt to buy dog food, decided that it was in the blog’s best interest-and in a way the world’s best interest-that I write the post, parroting Chris’ inimitable voice as best as I could. In that endeavor, I failed. My post didn’t uphold the standards set by Chris’ previous guest blogging, nor did it attract the woeful amount of hits that Chris’ concluding post received. I apologize to Chris if his name was at all sullied, if his image was at all tarnished. I implore the readership to maintain its pristine view of Chris the person and the artist, and to direct the expected rancor and outrage entirely and vehemently towards me, Carmen Petaccio, liar. I deserve it. In totality of heart, I apologize to Chris and to the entire world.
With that said, How Bad Were You Gotten?
If our voyage continues along this keel, I will most likely be writing every one of Chris’ guest posts for the remainder of my life. I accept this honor, but feel that this is an opportune time to gauge how well I did in my first attempt. Only through failure can true victory ever be tasted. Vote. We appreciate your support.