I have taken ill. For the past twenty-four hours, I’ve been exhibiting symptoms symptomatic of a common cold. I have a tuffy nose, a sore troat. It is not unfeasible that a concerned party could theoretically put his or her handback to my forehead and exclaim, “You are burning up!” Any concerned parties are welcome to attend my bedside and employ handbacks in such a manner, or, more preferably, to attend my bedside and present me with a ginger ale. Do be quick about it, though, as I am certain I will die soon.
What a fleeting venture life is! In these infirm, uncertain hours I’ve become acutely aware of my own mortality. Above my bed death’s scythe hovers, falling as slowly and innocuously down as a dust mote through a shaft of early sun. Nothing can save me, us. In the end, all are claimed, whisked as unceremoniously from life as we were whisked to it.
Naturally, I have spent most of my convalescent period deciding what songs should be played at the funeral I don’t want given for me. This has been dying man’s task since time immemorial, and this is one tradition I shall not shirk. At first, I tried to subvert expectations by making an actually unfortunate “Unfortunate Death Playlist,” or a playlist composed of the ten songs one would least want played at one’s funeral, but that experiment resulted in a list of ten Death Cab for Cutie songs, and I don’t need anyone so much closer. I need people farther, especially once I’m dead, rotting, putrefying. Why would I want to expose anyone to those various reeks and scenes of decomposition? I wouldn’t, so I won’t. Instead I’ve assembled a playlist of songs whose titles, when extracted and placed in order, creates a narrative summation of my life, death, time here on earth. Enjoy.
An Unfortunate Death Playlist
1. This Is Not What You Had Planned by The Wrens
2. Moonchild by M83
3. Things Ain’t Like They Used to Be by The Black Keys
4. It’s All Gonna Break by Broken Social Scene
5. In The Room Where You Sleep by Dead Man’s Bones
6. While You Wait for the Others by Grizzly Bear
7. And It Rained All Night by Thom Yorke
8. Within You Without You by The Beatles
9. There Was Sun by Devendra Banhart
10. Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd
A eulogy: This is not what you had planned, moonchild. Things ain’t like they used to be. It’s all gonna break in the room where you sleep while you wait for the others, and it rained all night, within you without you, there was sun. Shine on you crazy diamond.
Admission: This post may or may not make more sense if you’re on a half-bottle of NyQuil and/or running a fever of 102.
Admission: I am on a half-bottle of NyQuil and running a fever of 102 and this post still makes no sense. Goo’ night!