Last week, a children’s ministry called Life Savers unveiled the above-pictured billboard near a mall in eastern Alabama. If the previous sentence didn’t sufficiently indicate that the billboard featured a Hitler quote, the next sentence should. The billboard featured a Hitler quote. Emboldened atop a tellingly smaller Bible quote, the text reads, “‘He alone, who owns the youth, owns the future.’ -Adolf Hitler.” That a Christian youth organization found inspiration in hateful, hive-mind rhetoric should surprise absolutely no one. The foundational tenets of Christianity are more or less indistinguishable from those of Nazism; namely: empty ritual, propaganda, exclusionism and de-individuation. Given the bastardization of The Bible’s teachings by most Christians today, one could argue that the Hitler quote was given the primacy it is due. Relative to the default lunacy of organized religion, the billboard is par for the course. Amazingly, what’s most shocking about the image isn’t the billboard. What’s most shocking is the emblematic perfection of the flip phone picture itself.
Just look at all the fraud ideologies contained within this single, miraculous frame! You have free-market capitalism (The McDonalds), American exceptionalism (the American flag), romanticism (the tree), religion (The Bible quote), and fascism (the Hitler quote). At last, all of our country’s ruling pathologies have come together to set aside their similarities. It’s as if the universe conspired to produce a flawless visual representation of everyone I’ve ever blocked on Facebook. Unless someone takes an Instagram of himself doing a yoga pose while eating a Big Mac and reading The New Testament to a crowd of brainwashed Nazi Youth, I can’t imagine a better synthesis of everything I want nothing to do with. Since I’m still having trouble picking a favorite, please tell me. What’s your favorite fraud ideology?