My President Trump Wish List

Donald Trump has been elected the 45th president of the United States. Here’s my wish list for his four-year reign of terror.

1. The trial of Lena Dunham
2. The revocation of my healthcare
3. Everything covered in gold
4. Daddy/Sub relationship between Putin and Trump
5. Being drafted into the Second Mexican American War
6. President “Mr. Brexit”
7. All my friends in camps
8. Supreme Court made up solely of Giuliani, Peter Thiel, and Stephen Baldwin
9. Legalization of incest; Trump & Ivanka’s wedding
10. The coronation of The Exalted Prince Barron Trump
11. A three-day weekend culminating with Blue Lives Matter Day
12. The reinstitution of prima noctae
13. Chris Christie, Jester of the High Court of Trump
14. Oliver Stone’s DONALD
15. Riding Rosie O’Donnell’s underground railroad to Quebec
16. Secretary of State “Chachi From Happy Days”
17. Installation of a Moon Door in The White House
18. The millennial genocide
19. The shuttering of The New York Times
20. The public execution of Lena Dunham