Dear Carmen, You’ve done it.  1068 page views.  More than half of that total are visits to the A Picture of Paul Blart Page.  Do you consider this a victory? Sincerely, Reality P.S.  I don’t […]

Dear Carmen, I watched the video you sent me yesterday.  Frankly, I’m not sure what you’re having trouble understanding.  What you have on your hands (I don’t have proper hands) there is a profoundly confused […]

Dear Carmen, I’m writing in regards to your inquiry re: Boardwalk Empire.  Partially, your inability to fully appreciate the show stems from your incessant need to compare the show to the analogous Sopranos. This is […]

Dear Carmen, You are very close.  After today’s interminable bureaucracy session your graduate school applications are nearly complete.  Sadly, your hope that the selection committees will decide your fate is highly unlikely (probably due to […]

Dear Carmen, Understandably, you are upset.  If it’s any consolation, life will prove to be little more than a series of the important things in your life being robbed from you in painful succession.  I […]