Reality, Your last letter sure was a gas! Where do you come up with this stuff(!)? I admit, I can’t stand you, but your insights are as amusing as they are poorly observed. Perspicacious would […]

Reality, Your last letter sure was a gas! Where do you come up with this stuff(!)? I admit, I can’t stand you, but your insights are as amusing as they are poorly observed. Perspicacious would […]
Dear Carmen, If your letters are to continue in this vein I’m going to have to ask you to start correspondance with another paradoxically abstract concept. I can’t do it anymore. It’s only been two […]
Reality, My apologies for taking so long to get back to you. I’ve been drinking. To be honest, I fear that my alcohol consumption has gotten out of hand. I fear that if I go […]
Dear Carmen, I watched the video you sent me yesterday. Frankly, I’m not sure what you’re having trouble understanding. What you have on your hands (I don’t have proper hands) there is a profoundly confused […]
Reality, WHAT IS HAPPENING! O’s and X’s, Carmen
Dear Carmen, I’m writing in regards to your inquiry re: Boardwalk Empire. Partially, your inability to fully appreciate the show stems from your incessant need to compare the show to the analogous Sopranos. This is […]
See the above. Afterwards see the below: Indubitably, Enter the Void boasts the best opening title sequence since Panic Room. Similarities end there, as everything that follows bears little-to-infinitesimal resemblance to movies, reality, and in […]
Reality, As I’m sure you know I spent four hours last night meditating on Don Draper’s fiance’s teeth. In retrospect, my time may have been better spent doing my ShakeWeight regiment or flossing, but then […]
Dear Carmen, You are very close. After today’s interminable bureaucracy session your graduate school applications are nearly complete. Sadly, your hope that the selection committees will decide your fate is highly unlikely (probably due to […]