Dear Brucie, When the unsuspecting veterinarian discovered a respectably sized dog penis between your legs, the only thing that changed, in our eyes, was your name. Though gender may be a definitive biological reality for some, it […]
To Bobette, Our New Dog, On The Day of Her Adoption
Dear Bobette, Like dogs, every human person is born with a heart. Human hearts beat in our chests as a dog heart beats in your little furry one, and the same applies to all mammals: hearts […]
The Strawberry Criterion: Go Set A Watchman
More than half a century separates the publication of Go Set A Watchman, Harper Lee’s intriguingly flawed second novel, from the release of To Kill a Mockingbird, its beloved predecessor, in July, 1960, and it will likely take an […]
My Fantasy Football Keepers, Sleepers, and Bad Mother-Bleepers
In a little more than one week’s time, on Thursday, September 10th, the New England Patriots will host the Pittsburgh Steelers in the first game of the NFL’s 2015 regular season, and, for the tens of […]
Guns Aren’t the Issue. Mental Health is the Issue.*
Just before seven yesterday morning, a former employee of Roanoke, Virginia’s WDBJ news station shot and killed two newscasters, Alison Parker and Adam Ward, with a legally obtained handgun. A third casualty, Vicki Gardner, was […]
My Exclusive Interview with The Fat Jew
Yesterday, New York Magazine published an interview with the beleaguered social media celebrity Josh Ostrovsky, better known to millions of Instagram users as The Fat Jew. Since signing with the renowned talent agency CAA, Ostrovsky has […]
Stop. Fucking. Buying. Shit. From. Amazon.
The Everything Store, Brad Stone’s sweeping account of Amazon’s rise from prescient concept to pervasive corporation, uses for its epigraph a quote from the company’s eccentric founder, Jeff Bezos. Originally delivered as a part of his […]
I Rewrote and Edited That Entire Miles Teller Profile, Because Esquire Very Obviously Didn’t
Earlier this week, Esquire published a profile of the actor Miles Teller, the star of this summer’s Fantastic Four and last year’s Oscar-nominated Whiplash. Running over 2000 words, the piece reads, at best, like a botched hatchet job executed […]
50 Simple Ways to Identify a Hillary Clinton Supporter
The prototypical Hillary Clinton supporter is a creature short on distinct physical characteristics but markedly long on quirks of personality. Her amorphous brand of neo-liberalism, essentially a repurposing of Rockefeller Republicanism for the supposedly left-leaning […]
baby pictures of famous dictators 