I desire so desperately to like things. Cynicism is a suit I’m uncomfortable wearing; yet, as years pass and time piles, the world continues to reveal itself a malicious, masterful sartorialist, intent on fashioning that […]
My Mad Men Fan Fiction
The daily writing process of Honore de Balzac had three distinct steps. First, Balzac would drink ten cups of coffee. Second, he would masturbate. Third, he would sit down to write. It was Balzac who, […]
Wes Anderson Movie Power Rankings
In high school, I was assigned to write a two-page essay for my Spanish final written exam by my high school Spanish teacher Miss. Something-That-Started-With-I-Believe-a-G. The prompt was: What Is Your Favorite Thing In The […]
An Unfortunate Death Playlist
I have taken ill. For the past twenty-four hours, I’ve been exhibiting symptoms symptomatic of a common cold. I have a tuffy nose, a sore troat. It is not unfeasible that a concerned party could […]
Annual Taylor “T” Sardoni Birthday Commemoration Post
Today Taylor “T” Sardoni turns 24-years-old. For the select few unable to contact Taylor “T” with birthday wishes and well-wishes, feel free to use any (or all) of the following contact information. By Phone: 908-839-9888 […]
The 200th Post
200 is the natural number following 199 and preceding 201. One side of the main square in Krakow, Poland measures 200 square meters. In Roman Numerals, 200 is expressed as CC. The quark-gluon plasma phase […]
A Case for Divorce: Jim & Pam Halpert from The Office
In my younger and more vulnerable years I wanted for nothing but the romantic union of Jim Halpert and Pam Beesely, two fictional characters on the NBC sitcom The Office. The coalition between self-deprecating salesman […]
The Strawberry Criterion: John Carter
Much ado was made about the failings of John Carter before the release of John Carter. Skeptics saw the budget egregious, the source material outdated, the lead actor too relatively unknown. These arguments have their merits. Including […]
Kony2012 or Peyton Manning: What’s More Important?
Had Peyton Manning received his $28,000,000 roster bonus on Thursday, he could have purchased 933,333 Kony2012 Action Kits. That’s 933,333 Kony2012 t-shirts. That’s 933,333 Kony2012 bracelets, enough bracelets to adorn 116,666 octopuses with Kony2012 bracelets. […]
baby pictures of famous dictators 